Kat & Bill – 2 Faces of Anxiety

Kat had lots to worry about, not the least of which was Bill’s hoarding.

While Bill’s anxiety about COVID-19 grew, he felt the strong urge to act as Man of the House/Bear Grylls-style survivalist, stocking up on everything from pasta and Spam to batteries and light globes. It seemed like his adrenalin was driving him into Action Man mode.

Meanwhile, Kat’s anxiety meant her energy was low. She didn’t feel motivated to do anything much at all. Her mind cycled through an endless loop of sadness about missing her trip to India, misery at not being able to go out browsing the shops and worry about Tiffany’s education. She had saved some maths workbooks and spelling lists from Kylie’s school days that would help Tiffany right now, but since they weren’t allowed to visit, there was no way of getting them to her.

Kat spent a lot of time on her phone, reading the latest news reports and scrolling through Facebook. Both of those things just made her anxiety worse. The news was a constant reminder that she had no control over her own life, and Facebook was a constant reminder that there were a lot of peppy, annoying people in the world.

All the posts saying things like “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade” or “If you don’t master a new skill now, you’ve wasted your time” or “Come join our Declutter Challenge and you’ll be clutter free by the end of this” just made her want to crawl under the bedcovers.

Even though Violet couldn’t visit in person, she was still constantly in Kat’s face online with videos of recipes to try, updates about the latest COVID-related conspiracy theory, comments about the politics in other countries and sending Kat private messages about decluttering tips. But one of Violet’s posts did catch her eye.

Violet was campaigning for material and people and support to sew masks for healthcare workers. Now there was something that Kat could sink her teeth into. She had lots of time on her hands. She had lots of material. She was motivated.

But first she would have to dig through the boxes in the garage and find the ones with the right material. No problem. She got Bill to help with that. They found 5 boxes full. One box was kind of damp and had a funny smell. The others were dry but there was evidence of mice having been around. She would just have to sort through and find the suitable material, then give it all a good wash. Then she’d be ready to start sewing.

It took a mighty effort but a week later the material was clean and ready to be cut out. But first she would have to clear the dining table. She took a deep sigh and went back to scrolling on her phone. It could wait another day.

How did other people do this? It was just so hard. She had thought that hanging on to everything “just in case” would prepare her for emergencies like this. She was beginning to realise that in fact, it just made life harder.

Even the special appliances that she’d coveted caused her pain. Bill returned triumphant from the supermarket, like a fisherman with a big catch. He’d bought yeast and dozens of eggs. He’d heard they were hard to find. “Kat, where are the bread maker and ice cream maker? We can make our own bread and ice cream!”

Kat rolled her eyes, exhausted at just the thought of it. “Don’t be silly, Bill. There’s plenty of bread and ice cream at the shops.”